Back in the day, before I was a chimney sweep, I called in a so called chimney sweep who decimated my kitchen, he even emptied his hoover in the middle of the room stating “it’s not my crap!”. I must admit that I found this strange but all I knew back then about chimney sweeping was Bert from Mary Poppins and it would be a dirty job. Clearly I was not disappointed!
About six months later I was messing around with an old fire. I pulled on a piece of metal just above the fire opening to release a little piece of old newspaper to see what the date was, a harmless endeavour I thought, until a cascade of mess – skeleton birds heads and wings started falling from the chimney. We (myself and my lovely Lynne) had only finished decorating the room around two weeks earlier so having the seven riders of the apocalypse trying to enter this world through the fire opening was a bit of a frustration. Clearly Lynne asking me to get the chimney swept before we started decorating was playing in my head like a scratched record.